Trey's story of strength and survival...

This is long, but so are the journeys Trey has been through! If you don't want to read it that's fine, but if you do read it PLEASE leave me feedback. I wrote this to be published in a book of hydro stories a friend of mine is putting together....

Trey’s Story

I am made to be a mom. I love having kids, being married and believing I can help make this world better by raising amazing well rounded children. With the birth of my first son Ryne Carter November 18, 2004, my dreams were fulfilled. It took us 13 months to conceive him and when he was born my heart was fulfilled. My husband is a police officer and I worked for the State of Florida as a child welfare counselor. We had seen so many children hurt by their parents’ mistakes, selfishness, and ignorance, we knew we would give our children everything they needed and would live for them. Ryne was an amazing baby. We loved him with all we had, but our family still did not feel complete. When Ryne was 16 months old we decided we would try to expand our family. It took us 2 years to conceive Trey Alexander, the pregnancy and Trey’s life was a struggle from the beginning.

At 6 weeks pregnant I began to bleed, so I went to the OB, everything looked okay, but he wanted me to come back next week for another ultrasound. I continued to bleed and went back for a follow up ultrasound. At this appointment my life changed forever. I was told my baby had died and I needed a D&C. I was devastated. My husband, a courageous strong police officer, had lost a part of him. My mom who was with me at the doctors kept saying “maybe everything will be okay, you never know.” I yelled at her. I told her my baby was taken from me and I didn’t want to hear her false hopes again. My baby died and I just wanted to deal with it. The day before the scheduled D&C I went in for one last ultrasound. As soon as the machine was turned on I saw him. I said “Wait, there is a baby!!” No one said anything, after what seemed like 15 minutes the doctor said “In my 20 years of practice I have never seen anything like this, your baby is measuring perfectly and has a heartbeat.” I sobbed, my mom cried, even the nurse began crying-My baby was alive. I was told I had a subchorionic hemorrhage, it was very large and it was possible that while my body was shedding this “blood sac” it would “shed” the baby also. I refused to bond with my baby; I thought for sure I was losing him-Again. I bled for 5 months, at one point going in for an ultrasound the doctor said the baby’s umbilical cord was connected on the side with the bleed and he may not get the nutrients he needed to survive-yet another reason not to bond with my baby. Around 6 months I went in for the anatomical ultrasound and I saw it before anyone-I announced to everyone in the room “It’s a Boy!!!” At that moment I knew he would be okay and he was mine. No matter what he was my heart. He was perfect, the bonding began immediately. The remaining 3 months of the pregnancy went by with no problems. It was a perfect pregnancy from that point on. Labor was difficult, I had delivered epidural free with Ryne and was determined to do it again with Trey. After laboring for almost 2 days, and finding out my baby was coming out the wrong way we opted for an epidural. It was perfect! I felt no pain, but could feel when to push, laughed during pushes-it was wonderful. After I received the epidural the doctor did an internal turning of Trey. He warned us when I gave birth the baby would have a large head and be a big bruise due to turning him. But we didn’t care-Trey was absolutely perfect when he was born. An amazing 7lb. 8 oz. baby boy as beautiful as he could be. Due to the extremely large bruise he developed jaundice (his body was unable to break down the red blood cells from the bruise) and was on phototherapy lights for 7 days, taken to the hospital daily for heel pricks, he had a total 13 heel pricks since his birth. This was a rough time for us; I developed PPD so my husband had to take care of Ryne. But our strength as a family would be tested again. All I wanted to do is get Trey better, he was my focus. Finally we got the phone call his billirubin levels had normalized and he could come off of the lights. I held my baby boy for 18 hours straight, I couldn’t put him down. He was finally healthy and here, and in my arms. Nothing could happen to him now. Little did I know I would fail him again, I would fail at keeping him safe, and I would fail at keeping him healthy and happy.

Trey cried non-stop. It wasn’t a normal baby cry, it was a shrill high-pitched scream, and it was constant. The only thing that would calm him was drinking formula, he refused to breastfeed. He didn’t want to be held, he didn’t want to play-he only wanted to eat or cry. And his head was growing, faster than any doctor liked. Faster than it should have, his head was so big he couldn’t roll over, he couldn’t hold his head up. At 4 months we were sent to a neurosurgeon. The first visit a CT scan was ordered. The neurosurgeon said he did have large pockets of water on his brain, but it was believed he would grow out of it. At this point I had a chunky monkey! We went for a follow-up visit 3 weeks later and his head had grown almost an inch, an MRI was ordered. This scared me. This is pretty serious, up until this point we had no idea what to expect. We loved our baby boy; he had already been through so much did he really need more tests? Tests where he had to be sedated? What were they looking for? We had no idea. We were lost, we couldn’t protect our little boy, and I failed as a mom. The MRI had shown his pockets of water were exponentially bigger and surgery was needed. What? Surgery? For what? We were told he had hydrocephalus, I did research and it scared me to death. Well what little research I could find. In my head Trey Alexander would be on feeding tubes for the rest of his life, unable to walk or talk. He would never be a “normal” child. The MRI and diagnosis came on Tuesday. We were scheduled for surgery on Wednesday May 27, 2009. Wow! That was so quick my head was spinning. What would happen to my precious angel, would he even live through surgery?

Waiting in his room with the machines, tubes, and a little hospital bed for 2 hours was horrible. I was told the surgery would last 45 minutes, so of course I though something was terribly wrong. He came into the room and what I saw was heart wrenching and horrible. My baby boy who was ONLY 6 months old was swollen, bloody, stapled, confused, and stitched. I was in no way prepared to see my son like that. I held him to calm him down and all I could think about is why did this happen? What did I do wrong to make him go through all of this? It was my fault, maybe I didn’t eat the right things or maybe I didn’t take care of him like I should have. I am a great mom, and I know that, but seeing your child in this state all you can do is blame yourself and search for answers. He was so young, and he would never lead a “normal” life. He could never play football, no karate, he may not be able to follow in his daddy’s footsteps and become a police officer, he may not be able to talk or walk, and he would always need to be followed by a neurosurgeon. What have I done to my child?

But Trey was alive, and was still my beautiful little boy. I didn’t know what the future entailed, but at that moment he was okay. He was my heart and no matter what happened in the future I would always be his mom, and I would always be there for him. When daddy saw Trey after surgery tears filled his eyes. In the 11 years I had been with him I had never seen him cry. His heart ached for Trey as much as mine did. When Ryne saw Trey 4 days later he looked past the staples and blood and squealed “Mommy Trey isn’t crying!! He is smiling! Look at him!!!” I needed that; I needed to see Trey through the eyes of a 4 year old. I needed to see that my baby is finally going to be okay.

Today Trey is 14 months old, and he is amazing!! Yes, he does have weekly physical therapy, bi-weekly occupational therapy and will begin speech therapy soon, but his growth and abilities are astounding. At 10 months he rolled over for the first time, and at 13 months he took his first step!! He can now walk 10-20 steps at a time, last week he said his first word “dada” (of course, why is it never “mama”?) He can feed himself, self soothe, he plays independently, drinks out of a sippy cup, and bring a smile to every ones face who meets him. He is simply adorable! He does have a few medical issues, but so far his shunt is working perfectly. There are times when it becomes overwhelming. Thinking about how Trey will be effected by hydrocephalus for the rest of his life, but we are taking it one day at a time and are so thankful for the wonderful, healthy, happy, vibrant child we have been blessed with.

There needs to be more information about hydrocephalus. There are so many unknowns it is an extremely scary diagnosis. Family and friends who know of Trey’s diagnosis think great, he has had a surgery, so he is fixed forever. No one knows this will affect him forever. No one knows there is no miracle cure, and Trey will forever be changed due to this diagnosis. Hydrocephalus is diagnosed as often as juvenile diabetes, but the research and funding is no where near that of juvenile diabetes. This is major. My son has had brain surgery, and will most likely have it again in his lifetime. More needs to be done, more answers need to be found.

Thanks for reading, thanks for caring, and most of all thank you for your support!!

OMGOSH!!!!

I almost forgot to share... Trey Speaks!!!!! At 13.5 months Trey Alexander said his FIRST word!!! Well he said da da da da da da da..... But I count that as a word :) I'll take what I can get :) He will still need to begin his speech therapy-Yay another therapist :( BUT it means he is finally getting this stuff :)
Did I forget to write earlier he took his first steps last week!?!?!? He can now take about 15 steps and who cares if he looks like Frankenstein while walking.... It is so cute and he is totally proud of himself. I need to get new DVD's for the video camera so I can catch this for you :)
I am so proud of our Trey Trey-he is such an amazing baby!! He also has 3 teethe starting to break through and just had 3 completely break through-and you would never know he was teething, except for the BUCKETS of drool. he has not been cranky at all, he is still sleeping 13 hours a night and keeping up with his 4-5 hours of daytime naps-YAY for sleep!!!!! My kids are awesome, whether I am a crazy mom or not ;)

Why are my kids so emotional??

I don't know if I have done something wrong-likely- or they were born this way, but my sons can cry at the drop of a hat!! If Ryne cries then Trey is VERY quick to follow, heck if anyone cries Trey starts hysterically crying. I mean can't breathe, tears flying, burying his head in my chest, screaming crying. Weird!?!? If you look at Ryne and start to talk to him and he doesn't want to talk or is embarrassed he starts whining and crying. Seriously WHAT am I doing wrong???
Stephan and I decided in Ryne's best interest to pull him out of his private 4 year old "pre-school" and put him in state pre-k. His 4 year old class was 3.5 hours and pre-k is 7.5, this is a HUGE transition for Ryne, but we figured we would start the transition now rather than wait 'til he was in kindergarten (which is 7.5 hours also.) I mean he is going to have a lot of changes when he begins kindergarten, so the class length difference and larger classes can be tackled now. So far he is doing really well, he actually comes home with "homework" (which is actually something he makes up and does on his own to show his teachers-he really loves schoolwork :), I asked them if I had missed the assignment and they said no, he gave himself homework-he is so cute!!) But the LONG days are taking its toll on him. I know he just needs to get used to it, I just feel really bad. Not to mention they provide breakfast and lunch and since Ryne refuses to eat ANYTHING he is starving when he gets home, to the point he is sick. Talk about feeling like the worst mother EVER!! He just needs to eat more foods, and I am hoping this will make him try more stuff, in the mean time I will just worry myself to death that my son is going to waste away, and cry myself to sleep for being a really bad mom.
Sooooo... when we switched his schools we switched his Karate class, so it was closer. Well his new one is much more intense and disciplined. He was really lost in his first class and just started crying, had to leave the class. I felt really bad for him, but then Trey started to cry and I felt really bad for me. Why are they so emotional??? I Just don't get it...

He loves me...He loves me not...

Okay I KNOW my husband loves me! I just do. BUT I feel like he doesn't ever show me he does. He says "I love you" every day before he goes to work, when we hang up on the phone, or when I rub his shoulders ;) But sometimes I just don't feel it. He is a BUSY man!! He works about 60 hours a week so that I can stay home with the boys and he never complains. He loves his job so much, but there have got to be days he doesn't want to go-but he has NEVER said this to me. He has been a police officer for 7 years and I believe he is MADE for this job. It is funny because those that know him from high school/college can't imagine him being a policeman, but he is so good at it-Really!! Last week he got the ribbon of valor from our county and he is up for a major state award (can't remember what-I know, bad wife...) , but still some days he must want to stay home and in bed, but every day he gets up without complaint and goes to work with a smile on his face. That is GREAT to see as a wife, that your husband is so happy. But I feel like I take a back seat to his job and our kids. Horrible I know, and my head says I am first in his life (after God, of course) but my heart isn't so sure.

This all started when I saw a high school friend of mine post that his wife is his Hero. Seriously how sweet is that!?!? He is an amazing guy and was such a good friend in high school, he has been blessed with a gorgeous wife and beautiful son (YAY Jeremy!!!) I know if Stephan had a facebook account his status would never be something as sweet as that. "I punched a guy in the face today" would be his status. And that's okay-I really am so proud of him, he may be small but he has got some MAJOR fight in him :)

I knew he was not a romantic type when we got married, and that was okay. (Well one time he bought sweet note cards and every time I went out to my car-after work, after class, in the morning-I found these sweet words and my heart melted, but that was like 11 years ago...) Just sometimes being home with two little boys and crusty food and snot on my shirt makes me feel like less of a wife and more like a burp cloth :)

I am not complaining AT ALL-I just wonder if more husbands are like mine. Will do everything in his power to make his family secure and provided for, but can't write a love poem to save his life....


And isn't he just TOO cute!?!?

MORE doctors-Ugh!!!

We switched insurance companies this year-not really happy about it, but what are you going to do?? Gwinnett county made a decision to switch insurance providers so here we go, trying to get all of Trey's medical stuff covered under the new insurance company.
So we went yesterday for a "well-check" to get Trey's new pediatrician in-tune with him while he is healthy :) He also had to get one shot that they were out of at his 12-month shot appointment. Well I sit there and go through EVERYTHING Trey has been through in the past 12 months-that was a bit emotionally draining, I never would have thought....
The ped. is requesting Trey see an audiologist for a hearing test and follow-up with a speech therapist. He feels Trey is pretty far behind speech-wise and doesn't want him to get much farther. So YAY another specialist-NOT!!! He also had blood drawn to check for anemia (normal test at this age), allergies (he has abnormal amounts of blood in his stool-allergies *may* be the cause), and to check his thyroid (this has been recommended by everyone that meets my little chunky monkey ;) so as we were getting his blood drawn the first nurse missed and rolled his vein. He was so upset, but the HUGE guy who took over was so gentle and sweet and got it on the first time-very quickly ;)

I should have the results soon, but I think there is nothing wrong with him and they are doing these tests to figure out the big picture. His new ped. asked why/how Trey had hydrocephalus. I really have no answer for him-he is hoping to run some tests and follow Trey, to find out if there is any underlying causes/issues. I LOVE that! I LOVE that he WANTS to know what is going on, and that there are so many little things, he wants a thorough diagnosis. But I am just sick of doctors-as I am sure my little man is also :)
All of the speed crawling and constant moving Trey has been doing has resulted in a weight loss of one pound in 3 weeks-When he starts walking/running he will shrink in no time :)

Ryne is 5-need I say more?? He is defiant, doesn't listen, full of energy, and CONSTANTLY talks!! BUT he is amazing, extremely intelligent, and motivated!! He starts t-ball in Feb.-Thank God!!! He HAS to be in sports or he will blow-up from all of his energy ;)

Pictures!!!! Fall, Trey's b-day, Christmas...

I FINALLY got some pictures posted-YAY!!!!

New year, maybe I can keep up with this...

I am a TERRIBLE blogger!! I was totally hoping I could do a one-a-day post, then I went to once-a-week, now it is once every 5 months-oops!!



Update:

Not much going on-which is why I probably don't blog often :)

Trey is sleeping through the night!! WOOOOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!! He caught RSV in December and became very sick. Within 2.5 weeks-completely fine, it was amazing how fast he got better but we are so thankful. It was really scary for awhile-he even lost consciousness due to a bronchial spasm-very scary to see your baby flop over in the kitchen and be completely out of it. He was put on breathing treatments every 2-3 hours and did amazing!! So after he recovered from the RSV we all decided we need sleep in this house. I did the one thing I said I would never do and let Trey Cry it out-it was HORRIBLE!! First night screams for 70 min., 75 min. the second, the third night 60 min.-then remarkably the fourth night no crying, no fighting-nothing. He played and laughed himself to sleep! I was amazed and finally got a true night's sleep, and we haven't looked back (we had to do this for naps to, and it worked very well, rather quickly.) He now sleep 11-13 hours a night and sleeps 4-6 hours during the day. Things are very different around here since I can see and think straight;)
Trey is still in physical therapy, and just started occupational therapy-he can now stand for 10-20 seconds on his own, will walk if you hold his hand, is completely on table foods and except for his nighttime bottles is taking sippy cups, he laughs constantly, doesn't talk or babble yet-but that will come. He is 29 lbs and 34 inches (I'd have to get his baby book for exact amounts :) so he is a big guy-but totally cute!! I have pictures from his first birthday (although his party was cancelled due to the RSV) and I will post pictures soon-I promise ;)

Ryne is just amazing!! A week before Christmas he was running and fell onto the foot board of my bed and had to get 5 stitches under his eye. He has an AMAZING pain tolerance and didn't cry at all, during the stitches, while it was healing, or removal of the stitches. My brother and Stephan said "now he is a real boy!" He is a total cutie-pie ;) Ryne has also moved through master white belt in karate and is testing tomorrow for yellow belt-he is so excited!!
T-ball starts in Feb. and it is pretty hard core this year, no more playing without keeping score-they go all out now. So we'll see if he loves it as much :) He is done with Soccer season and was SO GOOD, but he didn't like it that much so we will see with that one. He is a natural at it, but we won't push him.
Stephan is now in the Crime Suppression Unit at work and really loves it! He is no longer on road patrol but goes out looking for drug dealers, serving search warrants, and other stuff that I really don't want to hear about sometimes :) I swear does he not know how much a cops wife worries!! He is doing a 3 mile torch run to honor the Special Olympics in May, so he is training for that-he is so cute I cant stand it!!
Me-just hanging out being a mom :) I am doing the best I can, and so far I think I am doing pretty good!! Both the boys are extremely happy and healthy (for the most part) Stephan is happy-so I am happy!! I have started coupon clipping and am saving as much as I am spending-Last grocery bill was $64 and I saved $62.86. Our pantry has never been fuller, but our checking account is not suffering-it is awesome! I feel like I am contributing financially to our household, and it feels pretty good!! I am the room mom for Ryne's pre-K class, and getting involved in a local MOPS group to get Trey more involved with other kids, but with the sports, Stephan working 2pm-2am, Ryne's school, Trey's doctors appointments, and Trey's therapy my schedule is pretty full-but there is always room for more ;)
That is all for now-Trey just woke up from his nap, I'll try and post pictures soon!!

It's picture time!!!

Here is my happy boy Trey Alexander :)

He is such a little cutie pie!!

Ryne at his Karate test in October-He is now a Master White Belt!!

This is my heart...

They are so cute!!!

My Boys and I :)

Our tired little pumpkin!!

We went to the Stone Mountain Pumpkin Festival today, and although it was very disappointing (we have gone previous years and this year was NOTHING like it used to be) we had fun and enjoyed our family time together. In the end that is ALL that matters!!!

Ouch!!

My head hurts. Really BAD!! I feel like crawling into bed, but I can't. Why is it again Stephan works nights? So he can be out when all the bad guys are-He loves his job so much-It's kinda cute. BUT I don't love being miserable!! And that is pretty much how I feel.

When I have a headache all can think about is more poor baby Trey. According to older people with Hydrocephalus, headaches are VERY common. I feel bad for Trey-he could have a headache every day and I wouldn't know it.

On the other hand Fall is here!! I am so glad for this weather and amazing cool temps.!!! My doors have been open and I baked cinnamon chocolate chip cookies-so my house feels and smells Yummy!! (Stephan's police department will be benefiting from this tomorrow ;)

I need some alone time with my husband-but I am too afraid to leave Trey with a babysitter. I will admit it, it has taken me 10 months of being with Trey 24/7 to understand what his cries mean and what he wants. Sometimes Stephan still doesn't know, he still chokes and stops breathing QUITE frequently and I am truly afraid something will happen. With Ryne it was I didn't think anyone can do as good a job as I did (and if they did Ryne wouldn't love me anymore) but with Trey it is a true fear something BAD will happen to him. I have to get over this!! I am so disconnected from my husband I am starting to prefer it when he is not home-AND THAT'S BAD!!!! I am really hoping Trey's appointment with his gastroenterologist will bring some answers as to why he stops breathing. I NEED answers. I NEED time without my kids. I NEED my husband.

I LOVE this giveaway!!

I found this great blogger-Mom Gone Witty while doing a search for Medifast ( A diet I will be starting soon, more to come later...) She is blogging about her journey on medifast, as I hope to start doing as well :) She has FIVE daughters-the Lord has definitely blessed her!!
Anyways she is doing a giveaway for the I SEE ME books, and they are WONDERFUL!! I have taken many virtual tours of the books and I am really hoping to win this giveaway-the book are SO CUTE!! Heck who am I kidding I will order one whether or not I win this giveaway ;) So check it out and enter the giveaway :-)

Another giveaway!! Free cloth diaper at Nicki's diapers-Check it out :)

MORE life decisions-Ugh!!!

Being an adult is hard-and I don't like it :) I want the carefree days where everyone else made decisions for me-whether I liked them or not...
I am having a HARD time deciding what to do. And this is serious for me. NO ONE can make this decision for me, and I am getting opinions on boths sides of the fence. But I am not at peace with either choice.

Should I go back to work or not? I know this is the age old question for many moms (some don't have an option-unfortunately), but I just don't know what to do!?!? I LOVE being home with the boys-I want to start all of this by saying that, and I LOVE them both with all of my heart and want what is best for them.

I don't feel like myself when I am a stay at home mom (SAHM). I don't feel like I am a total human being. I am a mom and housewife-what is left for me? When I am at work I feel like I am making a huge difference-slowly but a difference none the less. I worked for Department of Children and Families as a child welfare case worker. After the kids were found to be in need of services or removed from their home for abusive reasons I helped develop a case plan, and implement it with all parties involved. It was VERY HARD work and emotionally draining-but I felt like I was keeping children safe. It was important to me. If I had a full-time job we could move into a HOUSE get a 2nd car and really not have any financial worries. Right now we have one minivan, living in a 1300 sq. ft. 3 bedroom apartment-it feels like it gets smaller everyday ;) And although we are doin"ok" financially we are on a budget and have to watch where we spend every dime.
And I feel like my boys need me. Trey has many developmental issues, and lets face it he will not get the attention he needs in most daycare settings (and due to Stephan's profession and my knowledgeable background we don't trust people to take care of our children in their home.) When I worked full-time before Trey was born (I stayed home for Ryne's first year, then I went back to work) Ryne was in daycare from 7am-6pm-that is a LONG time to be in daycare away from his family.
I have looked into working part time but there are not real positions I feel are a fit for me.
My ideal situation would be to go back to school and either get my master's in school counseling or get a second bachelor's in elementary education (my current degree is Human Services), so that I can work in the school system. Ryne starts public school next year-WOW-and Trey would be 18 months so I have a feeling he would be okay in daycare. BUT it would cost about $5000. I am not eligible for student grants or loans.
This is just a hard decision. ANY thoughts are welcomed. Even if it is to tell me to stop whining ad shut-up ;)

Modern day letter to Santa!?!?!

Oh, the Holidays are upon us!! Well they almost are but when one son's b-day is November 18th and the other one's is December 16th, followed by Christmas-you need to plan early!! So Ryne came up with this idea to make a Toys R Us wish list. Where he got this I have no idea, but he said it would be his letter to Santa and for his birthday. I thought it was a great idea, mainly for my OCD organization-and it is SO HELPFUL!! Ryne made his wishlist (#28907017), and then helped make Trey's wishlist (#28946017)-who am I kidding after he saw me make the clicks to add to the list a couple of times he totally had it down and started adding everything he saw that was Spongebob or Batman oriented. The list MAY be out of control-guess I should go check it out....
Anyways I was just wondering if anyone else has done this for their kids (or their own sanity?) It may actually be helpful because most of our family lives far away and I always get the question "What does Ryne want for his birthday/Christmas?" Truthfully I rarely have any ideas. To me this is not begging people to buy him presents, believe me he would be fine if he didn't get any, he understands the holidays are about MUCH MORE than presents. He spends his allowance on giving to other people and every year we adopt a family for the angel tree, when he is older we will get more involved. He KNOWS it is about giving, but he has also been given presents for the past 5 years on these special days.
Anyways I think it is helpful, would you?

I need some pink in my life...

So I changed my blog background-You likey?? BUT I can't figure out how to change the title background or comments background-Guess I am only halfway computer literate...

I must give Thanks where it is due :)

I posted yesterday about Ryne's b-day party being in Orlando at the Nick Hotel. (seriously check this place out-it is AMAZING!!) With the plan of his party being Sunday and on Monday going to Sea World and Disney on Wednesday. I feel a HUGE thanks needs to be said to Stephan's parents Stephanie and Greg (known as Ene* and Papaw from here on out :)
We had priced tickets to all the parks, staying at the Nick Hotel (which to Ryne would be more fun than the amusement parks considering Spongebob is always at the hotel and they have rooms decorated to look like Bikini bottom-Have I said how IN LOVE Ryne is with Spongebob-Seriously I hear that show ALL the time in my house :) Anyways we had priced everything set money aside for budgeting this crazy expensive trip and were ready to go. Then came Ene and papaw saving the day :) They offered to pay for the hotel for Ryne's b-day present!! How cool is that!!!! Talk about a HUGE financial burden off of our backs :) And NO no one asked for the thanks, I am sure Ene and Papaw are doing all of this the SAME reason we are-to see the PURE joy and excitement on Ryne's face!!!
I just felt so appreciative of their giving-their love for my family (or should I say their son and his family) is quite inspirational ;)


*How the name Ene came about... In October of 2006 Stephan was directing school traffic and some IDIOT err I mean woman didn't see him and ran him over. He flew into the windshield and over her car landing a good amount behind her vehicle. Long story short-he needed knee surgery and was laid up in a hospital bed in our house for about 5 weeks. During this time Ryne was having his 2nd birthday. We had planned an Elmo theme and since Ryne was our first (and only child at that point) we had Elmo EVERYTHING!! Of course we couldn't do the planned party because daddy was unable to get around very well. So we had family and friends over to our house. Well Stephanie gets out of the car and starts walking up to the door and Ryne starts yelling very excitedly "Ene, Ene, Ene!!!" We have NO IDEA where he picked this name up. I am guessing by us just saying her name, Stephanie, but he had not seen her for SEVERAL months. AND he didn't start talking 'til he was about 16 months. So our genius child who had not seen his grandma in about 4-5 months and was barely speaking named her ENE-and it has stuck ever since. I am sure Trey will call her that since his brother does, but I wonder if Stephanie and Greg's other grandchildren will call her that also (I have NO IDEA when we will find this out b/c out of their 4 children we are the only ones CRAZY enough to have any kids-FOR NOW.....

I LOVE planning parties!! And other updates...

I know it's been a LONG time and there is not a ton that has happened, but here it is:
1) Ryne started soccer, and is REALLY good!! Once he gets warmed up and out on the field it is amazing. AND he runs the WHOLE game and is still not tired. He has some AMAZING energy-but after he plays a game watch out!! He eats anything he can find (that he likes of course :)
2) Ryne is in karate! He recently tested for the 2nd belt and he is officially a master white belt-whatever I think it is a big deal, and he is so proud of himself so that counts :) It takes 3 years-I think- to be a black belt, but that is something we are definitely gonna try and keep him in. He already learned a lot of respect, listening and focus-AND he keeps ALL karate moves to himself unless he is in the studio-YAY!!
3)Trey is over 27 lbs and more than 33 inches-He is a BIG BOY!! But he is totally proportionate so he is just as cute as can be. He wears size 2T clothes and size 5 shoes ;) I belong to a birth club, where there are A LOT of women and we all had our babies in December-and Trey has won the award for biggest baby on the board (which also means I have the biggest muscles on the board since Trey doesn't crawl or walk at all!!) There wasn't really a contest but I asked around and I say he won-so there ;) He drinks about 20 oz. of formula and 3 very small meals a day-this is completely normal, he is just predisposed to be a big boy-that's alright he can protect me :) I WILL have a house FULL of protectors ( a policeman for a husband, a black belt son, and a son as big as a refrigerator :)
3)We had our first ER trip for Trey. There will be MANY more to come, I am sure, but this was his first due to hydrocephalus. Trey had woken up from a nap, and I went to go make a bottle. Ryne always goes in there to talk to him and keep him from crying (Ryne HATES it when Trey cries ;) but as Ryne was reaching in to turn on the mobile, he fell in right on Trey's head. I walk in to a very ODD scream/cry from Trey and I look at Ryne (who had already quickly scrambled out of the crib) and he burst into tears also. I was so confused. Ryne immediately fessed up and the large red welt right next to Trey's shunt tube popped up immediately. I calmed them both down and "thought" everyone was okay. Later on the day Trey was so unbelievably fussy-nothing would make him feel better, so I took him to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta and was taken into a room and seen by a doctor within 8 minutes of arrival ( I LOVE that ER-and they LOVED i had nothing to do with respiratory problems. There were like 30 kids in the ER with masks on and Swine flu symptoms) But Trey was fine-just had a headache-YAY!! (we almost had to take him again on Saturday-Someone accidentally dropped him on hard red clay ground, but after some mommy love and Tylenol, he was all good :)
4)Trey started physical therapy and occupational therapy. He ACTS like he was a breech baby with club feet-his hips and ankles are very weak. This means he can't crawl and can't pick up his legs to walk. I asked his therapist if it is due to his size and she told me no, he is very strong-if he were limp then yes he wouldn't be able to support his weight. His joints are just weak. He is already learning and will be moving along in no time :) When he is older he will also need to go through speech therapy, he does not babble at all-the only noise that comes out of him is "ugh" So essentially I have a 10 month old who is the size of a 2 year old, but doesn't run away or yell/talk-Is this really that bad :)
5) Trey is not responding to his HEAVY dose of reflux meds, so we have a Gastroenterologist appt. on Nov. 5th-I will update later. Depending on what the GI doctor say we may have to see an ENT also-Trey is a heavy mouth breather and stops breathing at times, his pediatrician has always attributed it to his reflux and says he will grow out of it-But we are going on 10 months and it seems to be getting worse. So we'll see.
6)Trey is one of the HAPPIEST babies EVER!!!! He loves to play and laugh, and just be with all of his family-He is so loving it is amazing! He is definitely a lot of work, but his smile and laugh make it so worth it ;)
7) The boy's birthdays are coming up!!!!!! Ryne's is November 18th and Trey's is December 16th. They are both BIG birthdays this year so we are going all out! For Ryne we are going to Orlando to the Nick Hotel and having a Spongebob themed birthday. We are going to SeaWorld and Disney, and he is just SO EXCITED!!
For Trey's first birthday we are having a cupcake themed birthday :) YAY Cupcakes!!! It is a lot of work and custom ordering because MOST of the cupcake themes are for girls-but I will make it work and pictures are to follow. Oh I have designed and made some absolutely ADORABLE stuff!! I am so excited I LOVE planning their birthdays and seeing the happy looks on their faces make everything worth it!
Actually I guess a lot has been going on b/c this isn't even all of it, oh well I'm tired and you're probably sick of reading about my boys. But I think they are amazing and everything they do is newsworthy :)

Finally!!!

All the crying, sleepless nights, biting everything he could find-finally paid off!! On Trey's 8 month birthday his first tooth popped through!! It is so cute to have a baby with one tooth, and it is SO SHARP!! I let Ryne wash his hands and feel it and he looked really sad, I asked him what's wrong and he said "It is so sharp Trey is going to get hurt!" then he started crying. Ryne has the biggest heart of any kid I have ever met. He loves his family so much and if he gets in trouble or thinks someone may get hurt, you'd think his life is ending. This is cute yet overwhelming, many times :)
Later today Ryne used his smart words and disrespected me (I told him to clean up his veggietales game, and he said "Yeah right are you kidding me!!") I have let a lot of things he has been saying lately slide because, well it's funny! But I am defintley getting tired of my 4 year old sound like a disrespectful teenager, and I don't want it to go any further, so I sent him to time out. He is in there for a total of 4 minutes and the whole time he is frantically sobbing saying "My mommy doesn't love me anymore." "My mommy hates me." This breaks my heart BUT I know he is playing me and needs to continue with his punishment. So after he calms down and is quiet and his time is up, I go in there and talk with him. He told me "I will do whatever you want, if you promise to love me again." Where does this kid get this stuff!!! I find myself sounding A LOT like my mom and tell him I will always love him with all of my heart, and sometimes I may be mad, or upset with him, but I will NEVER stop loving him. He then had a HUGE smile on his face and said "YAY!! My mommy loves me!" He is so funny, I can't help but laugh and hug him as hard as I can. I will enforce the respect that he needs to give adults, but I am thinking somewhere he got the thought that when I am upset I stop loving him, so I need to work on changing those thoughts in him also. Maybe that will make it easier when I leave him to go run errands (right now we have total meltdowns, and he cries off and on the whole time I am gone.) This mothering thing is not for idiots, or sissies!!!

I hate hydrocephalus....

I have to vent somewhere. I know family and friends are there for me, but truly no one can really understand what I, as a mom of a baby with hydrocephalus, is going through. If I need them I have so many people to rely on and talk to, and I appreciate every minute anyone spends thinking of and praying for Trey, but being mom is different. I spend every minute of every day wondering how he is feeling, if Stephan and I made the right decision, WHEN are we going to have a shunt revision, is he going to develop "normally", will he have a "normal" active childhood....
There are nights where Trey only sleeps a total of 3-4 hours (and maybe 10 hours all day) and I think "Does he need to go to the neurosurgeon-is something wrong?" Then there are days when he sleeps 20 hours that day and I wonder the same thing. He never does the same thing one day to the next as hard as I try to keep his days similar. His eating and sleeping patterns are always different, I have tried all different kinds of schedules and he always alters them. I am NOT going to keep my baby from eating, and trying to keep him awake when he is tired is so hard on everyone in the house.
He is a beautiful little boy and for the most part he is happy. I am taking it one day at a time, but I can't help but think he is a little behind on the development spectrum. He sits for at least an hour playing contently and can stand, but there is no crawling, rolling, no first words yet, no teeth-At this age (almost 8 months) Ryne had met all of these milestones and surpassed them. I know it is not fair to compare my children, but come on-you try and not compare your two kids-Yeah right!!
Sometimes I feel so alone in taking care of the boys. I KNOW I am not but when it is you spending 20 hours alone with two kids it can be quite overwhelming. Ryne starts school in 3 weeks, and I will then enroll Trey in Gymboree classes so that will help break up the day. I feel so bad putting so much pressure on Stephan, as he already works so much so I can be a stay at home mom, I don't want to just throw the kids at him when he wakes up. But by the time he wakes up that is all I want to do, give him both boys and lock myself in my bedroom. But I don't and I won't.
I KNOW Trey will make at least one trip to the ER in his childhood, probably several more, so that does not worry me, it is just wondering if I will see the signs and get him to a doctor in time-That is SRESSFUL!!!!
I know this post is all over the place but so is my brain right now. I really appreciate having this media to get everything out, and I understand if no one wants to read this-It is just my ramblings of a worried mom :)
And no I do not want any comments on me being paranoid, and yes I KNOW Trey is a BIG baby. That is getting old-He is a 27 lb 8 months old-yes that is big and yes I know-Ryne didn't weigh that when he was 2. Trey does not eat more than 26-34 oz. a day and no more that 1.5 jars of food. This is NOT more than a "normal" 8 month old, he is just a big boy-THE END!!

I truly do LOVE all of our family and friends and appreciate all the support we get, but sometimes I need to get this all out, Please don't be hurt by any of this. It is not meant to offend anyone or minimize the help we receive. And I do LOVE my boys and would not trade them or my life for anything. Sometimes I just have off days (or weeks) :)

God works in AMAZING ways!!

A couple of weeks ago Stephan lost a detail that he had had for over a year. They decided to use an officer that lived in the subdivision, which is fine but there was NO advance notice and it was handled in a very negative way on their part. Losing this detail made us lose $560 and month. Which is exactly what we needed for me to stay home with the boys. I TRULY thought I would have to go back to work and put Trey in daycare, I was not ready for this and I feel he is not medically ready for this. He would benefit from interaction with other babies and adults, but I was so worried he wouldn't be watched closely and fall and hit his shunt or show symptoms of a malfunction and they wouldn't notice it.
Two days ago we found out Stephan will be getting one extra night in a detail he is working which will bring in an extra $120 a month. Not a ton but helpful, and possibly if he picked up some more odds and end details it would all work out, but I know we would both be stressed every day praying we would be able to pay all the bills, and pay for Ryne's private christian pre-k school. But I was still browsing looking at availabe jobs...
Then last night our prayers were answered and our stress is relieved!! Stephan found out he got two schools which are close to the house (he directs traffic for the busses to be able to leave with the kids quickly) which amazingly enough will bring in $1400 a month!!!! We are so excited and the best part is he will ONLY be gone for an hour every afternoon!! God has def. blessed us and made it possible for us to keep Ryne in the amazing Christian school and me to stay home with them-We are so relieved.
I will also be a little worried because when Stephan got ran over by a car almost 3 years ago he was working a school. It was at 6 am and rainy (these schools are at 2-3 pm) and it changed our lives in so many ways. Before the accident I trusted God had Stephan in His protective hand every day while he was working and never had a worry, after the accident I took all my worry from God and stressted every night. Lately I have realized I definitley cannot handle this burden and have been trying SO HARD to hand it back over to God. I truly think this is God's way of saying "Don'y worry, I got you."

We had some MAJOR fun!!!

We went to Florida for 2 weeks, long vacay I know, but Stephan needed it!! He was so stressed and needed to wind down. We spent a week in Fort Myers and then a week in the Keys, now that was fun!!
We went lobstering which was a blast chillin on a little dingy boat at 3 am in the open Ocean(well I was out til 12 on the last night but hubby stayed out for 6-7 hours one night) looking for any signs of a lobster so you can throw your net on it scoop it up and throw it in the bucket. It was all fun and games until you heard the noise of "cleaning" them (i.e. ripping their tails from their bodies-not cool.) We ate a couple of lobster tails there and brought 6 home for a yummy cook-out planned Sunday-wanna come???
One night I lost my title of STAY AT HOME MOM and went to Key West with Stephan, his twin Andrew, his wife Marie and Stephan's Aunt Lisa and Uncle Walt-I can't remember ever having so much FUN!!! First off this wouldn't have happened if Ene and Pa-Paw didn't watch my boys-so thank-you!! We were in Key West getting our drink on from 8pm-5am, needless to say I fell down some stairs made some new friends (why do men feel they need to rub their junk on you-again not cool) And had WAY TOO MUCH FUN!!! I have not had a drink for 8 years (well anything worth mentioning, I think every New-Year's I have one or two...) and I def. made up for it hehe!! My SIL Marie ROCKS and Aunt (er I mean sister) Lisa is so hot she can get anything she wants. Reality def. set in when Trey woke up at 8am ready for his day to begin.... Thank God Stephan didn't drink at all and I woke him up to take care of the baby, b/c had I stayed up I was going to barf :) No hangover, no throw-up =Good Times
With all of this fun we had I am def. glad to be home ;) This trip I relaxed and let other people help me with the boys, which I seldom do, and actually got some sleep -one day I slept to 1pm-shh don't tell other mom's with babies....
The boys had a great time also, but Trey brought back a bad souvenier-an ear infection (well it is actually called a distended ear), and upper respiratory infection-Poor baby!! His hurt cry is back and I haven't heard it since he recovered from his surgery, no sleep tonight I believe some cuddling is in order :)
Pics. later Stephan has to get ready for work so I get to hold Trey (he is kinda lethergic and snuggly so if I knew he wasn't hurting I would enjoy it.)

I am a slacker...I know :)

I have completley ignored my blog, Sorry!! I really had no idea so many people followed it, and actually cared :) What's new with us? Let's see....


Ryne, Trey, and I flew to Florida to surprise my Bil Matthew for his 21st b-day!! Trey did fantastic on the flight and Ryne had a lot of fun, until we started to land, then his ear hurt. All in all it was a great trip and I actually got some sleep. This was the first time since Ryne was born that I have relaxed and let other people help with the boys, and I actually relaxed. My stress was much lower than it had ever been during any trip-we had FUN!! Although Ryne was devastated when we realized he left Uncle Matthew's handmade birthday card at home-oops. But he was EVEN more upset when he learned that Aunt Megan would not be down there.


Trey is doing WONDERFUL!! It took approx. 6 weeks since his surgery but he has "normalized" and is sleeping great and eating perfectly!! He is an extremely happy baby and it is so different than the first 6 months of his life. He sits completley unassisted for quite some time, but he has shown no interest in crawling. He holds his own bottle and sippy cups. He eats about 26 oz. a day of formula and 1/2 jar of baby food 3 times a day (but if we skip the food he is fine too, he doesn't really care if he has it...)

We are taking Ryne to the pediatrician tomorrow, and we hope everything is fine. He has lost 3-4 pounds since November, and has begun getting bruises all over his body for no real reason. He has begun falling all the time but he bruises where he hasn't fallen. Him falling is weird in itself since he has never been that clumsy, but lately all I hear from him is "ow." We are hoping he is just getting taller and has low iron, and will be fine...we'll see-I'll update I promise :) I will have to post pics soon but Ryne found scissors, and cut a chunk of his hair off-It was hilarious and looks super goofy!!

On a very sad not we had to get rid of Colby. He was our first baby and we are all very sad. Over six years ago we got him from the Lee county pound, three days later we found out I was pregnant with Ryne. I was overwhelmed and thought we should take him back but he turned out to be THE BEST dog!! He was perfect around Ryne and was so smart-he behaved perfectly!! But lately he became aggressive towards the boys. I would be putting Trey down and hear Ryne screaming when I ran to the livng room Colby had cornered Ryne and wouldn't let him go anywhere. This happened a couple of times. And there were several times he would get into attack stance towards Ryne or Trey. He became very protective of Stephan and would bark at the wall, and got into EVERYTHING. All of this behavior was not like him and made me worry for Ryne and Trey. We made the decision to give him to the animal shelter for euthanasia before he hurt someone. It really has hurt our hearts and made us feel like we lost a family member.

We are leaving for Florida again in 6 days and will be there for 2 weeks! We will be in Fort Myers for a week then down to the Keys-YAY!!! It should be a ton of fun-pics to follow :)


I have rambled enough for now...Here are some recent pics-

***UPDATE*** We got the blood test results for Ryne and everything looks perfect!! Weird and doesn't make me feel tons better, but at least I know he is healthy. Doctor thinks he may have just hit a crazy growth spurt, and I think he may be falling all the time for attention. Trey has taken a lot of his attention away esp. since he has been through so much medically. So we will just keep an eye on Ryne and hope everything works itself out ;)