It's picture time!!!

Here is my happy boy Trey Alexander :)

He is such a little cutie pie!!

Ryne at his Karate test in October-He is now a Master White Belt!!

This is my heart...

They are so cute!!!

My Boys and I :)

Our tired little pumpkin!!

We went to the Stone Mountain Pumpkin Festival today, and although it was very disappointing (we have gone previous years and this year was NOTHING like it used to be) we had fun and enjoyed our family time together. In the end that is ALL that matters!!!

Ouch!!

My head hurts. Really BAD!! I feel like crawling into bed, but I can't. Why is it again Stephan works nights? So he can be out when all the bad guys are-He loves his job so much-It's kinda cute. BUT I don't love being miserable!! And that is pretty much how I feel.

When I have a headache all can think about is more poor baby Trey. According to older people with Hydrocephalus, headaches are VERY common. I feel bad for Trey-he could have a headache every day and I wouldn't know it.

On the other hand Fall is here!! I am so glad for this weather and amazing cool temps.!!! My doors have been open and I baked cinnamon chocolate chip cookies-so my house feels and smells Yummy!! (Stephan's police department will be benefiting from this tomorrow ;)

I need some alone time with my husband-but I am too afraid to leave Trey with a babysitter. I will admit it, it has taken me 10 months of being with Trey 24/7 to understand what his cries mean and what he wants. Sometimes Stephan still doesn't know, he still chokes and stops breathing QUITE frequently and I am truly afraid something will happen. With Ryne it was I didn't think anyone can do as good a job as I did (and if they did Ryne wouldn't love me anymore) but with Trey it is a true fear something BAD will happen to him. I have to get over this!! I am so disconnected from my husband I am starting to prefer it when he is not home-AND THAT'S BAD!!!! I am really hoping Trey's appointment with his gastroenterologist will bring some answers as to why he stops breathing. I NEED answers. I NEED time without my kids. I NEED my husband.

I LOVE this giveaway!!

I found this great blogger-Mom Gone Witty while doing a search for Medifast ( A diet I will be starting soon, more to come later...) She is blogging about her journey on medifast, as I hope to start doing as well :) She has FIVE daughters-the Lord has definitely blessed her!!
Anyways she is doing a giveaway for the I SEE ME books, and they are WONDERFUL!! I have taken many virtual tours of the books and I am really hoping to win this giveaway-the book are SO CUTE!! Heck who am I kidding I will order one whether or not I win this giveaway ;) So check it out and enter the giveaway :-)

Another giveaway!! Free cloth diaper at Nicki's diapers-Check it out :)

MORE life decisions-Ugh!!!

Being an adult is hard-and I don't like it :) I want the carefree days where everyone else made decisions for me-whether I liked them or not...
I am having a HARD time deciding what to do. And this is serious for me. NO ONE can make this decision for me, and I am getting opinions on boths sides of the fence. But I am not at peace with either choice.

Should I go back to work or not? I know this is the age old question for many moms (some don't have an option-unfortunately), but I just don't know what to do!?!? I LOVE being home with the boys-I want to start all of this by saying that, and I LOVE them both with all of my heart and want what is best for them.

I don't feel like myself when I am a stay at home mom (SAHM). I don't feel like I am a total human being. I am a mom and housewife-what is left for me? When I am at work I feel like I am making a huge difference-slowly but a difference none the less. I worked for Department of Children and Families as a child welfare case worker. After the kids were found to be in need of services or removed from their home for abusive reasons I helped develop a case plan, and implement it with all parties involved. It was VERY HARD work and emotionally draining-but I felt like I was keeping children safe. It was important to me. If I had a full-time job we could move into a HOUSE get a 2nd car and really not have any financial worries. Right now we have one minivan, living in a 1300 sq. ft. 3 bedroom apartment-it feels like it gets smaller everyday ;) And although we are doin"ok" financially we are on a budget and have to watch where we spend every dime.
And I feel like my boys need me. Trey has many developmental issues, and lets face it he will not get the attention he needs in most daycare settings (and due to Stephan's profession and my knowledgeable background we don't trust people to take care of our children in their home.) When I worked full-time before Trey was born (I stayed home for Ryne's first year, then I went back to work) Ryne was in daycare from 7am-6pm-that is a LONG time to be in daycare away from his family.
I have looked into working part time but there are not real positions I feel are a fit for me.
My ideal situation would be to go back to school and either get my master's in school counseling or get a second bachelor's in elementary education (my current degree is Human Services), so that I can work in the school system. Ryne starts public school next year-WOW-and Trey would be 18 months so I have a feeling he would be okay in daycare. BUT it would cost about $5000. I am not eligible for student grants or loans.
This is just a hard decision. ANY thoughts are welcomed. Even if it is to tell me to stop whining ad shut-up ;)

Modern day letter to Santa!?!?!

Oh, the Holidays are upon us!! Well they almost are but when one son's b-day is November 18th and the other one's is December 16th, followed by Christmas-you need to plan early!! So Ryne came up with this idea to make a Toys R Us wish list. Where he got this I have no idea, but he said it would be his letter to Santa and for his birthday. I thought it was a great idea, mainly for my OCD organization-and it is SO HELPFUL!! Ryne made his wishlist (#28907017), and then helped make Trey's wishlist (#28946017)-who am I kidding after he saw me make the clicks to add to the list a couple of times he totally had it down and started adding everything he saw that was Spongebob or Batman oriented. The list MAY be out of control-guess I should go check it out....
Anyways I was just wondering if anyone else has done this for their kids (or their own sanity?) It may actually be helpful because most of our family lives far away and I always get the question "What does Ryne want for his birthday/Christmas?" Truthfully I rarely have any ideas. To me this is not begging people to buy him presents, believe me he would be fine if he didn't get any, he understands the holidays are about MUCH MORE than presents. He spends his allowance on giving to other people and every year we adopt a family for the angel tree, when he is older we will get more involved. He KNOWS it is about giving, but he has also been given presents for the past 5 years on these special days.
Anyways I think it is helpful, would you?

I need some pink in my life...

So I changed my blog background-You likey?? BUT I can't figure out how to change the title background or comments background-Guess I am only halfway computer literate...

I must give Thanks where it is due :)

I posted yesterday about Ryne's b-day party being in Orlando at the Nick Hotel. (seriously check this place out-it is AMAZING!!) With the plan of his party being Sunday and on Monday going to Sea World and Disney on Wednesday. I feel a HUGE thanks needs to be said to Stephan's parents Stephanie and Greg (known as Ene* and Papaw from here on out :)
We had priced tickets to all the parks, staying at the Nick Hotel (which to Ryne would be more fun than the amusement parks considering Spongebob is always at the hotel and they have rooms decorated to look like Bikini bottom-Have I said how IN LOVE Ryne is with Spongebob-Seriously I hear that show ALL the time in my house :) Anyways we had priced everything set money aside for budgeting this crazy expensive trip and were ready to go. Then came Ene and papaw saving the day :) They offered to pay for the hotel for Ryne's b-day present!! How cool is that!!!! Talk about a HUGE financial burden off of our backs :) And NO no one asked for the thanks, I am sure Ene and Papaw are doing all of this the SAME reason we are-to see the PURE joy and excitement on Ryne's face!!!
I just felt so appreciative of their giving-their love for my family (or should I say their son and his family) is quite inspirational ;)


*How the name Ene came about... In October of 2006 Stephan was directing school traffic and some IDIOT err I mean woman didn't see him and ran him over. He flew into the windshield and over her car landing a good amount behind her vehicle. Long story short-he needed knee surgery and was laid up in a hospital bed in our house for about 5 weeks. During this time Ryne was having his 2nd birthday. We had planned an Elmo theme and since Ryne was our first (and only child at that point) we had Elmo EVERYTHING!! Of course we couldn't do the planned party because daddy was unable to get around very well. So we had family and friends over to our house. Well Stephanie gets out of the car and starts walking up to the door and Ryne starts yelling very excitedly "Ene, Ene, Ene!!!" We have NO IDEA where he picked this name up. I am guessing by us just saying her name, Stephanie, but he had not seen her for SEVERAL months. AND he didn't start talking 'til he was about 16 months. So our genius child who had not seen his grandma in about 4-5 months and was barely speaking named her ENE-and it has stuck ever since. I am sure Trey will call her that since his brother does, but I wonder if Stephanie and Greg's other grandchildren will call her that also (I have NO IDEA when we will find this out b/c out of their 4 children we are the only ones CRAZY enough to have any kids-FOR NOW.....

I LOVE planning parties!! And other updates...

I know it's been a LONG time and there is not a ton that has happened, but here it is:
1) Ryne started soccer, and is REALLY good!! Once he gets warmed up and out on the field it is amazing. AND he runs the WHOLE game and is still not tired. He has some AMAZING energy-but after he plays a game watch out!! He eats anything he can find (that he likes of course :)
2) Ryne is in karate! He recently tested for the 2nd belt and he is officially a master white belt-whatever I think it is a big deal, and he is so proud of himself so that counts :) It takes 3 years-I think- to be a black belt, but that is something we are definitely gonna try and keep him in. He already learned a lot of respect, listening and focus-AND he keeps ALL karate moves to himself unless he is in the studio-YAY!!
3)Trey is over 27 lbs and more than 33 inches-He is a BIG BOY!! But he is totally proportionate so he is just as cute as can be. He wears size 2T clothes and size 5 shoes ;) I belong to a birth club, where there are A LOT of women and we all had our babies in December-and Trey has won the award for biggest baby on the board (which also means I have the biggest muscles on the board since Trey doesn't crawl or walk at all!!) There wasn't really a contest but I asked around and I say he won-so there ;) He drinks about 20 oz. of formula and 3 very small meals a day-this is completely normal, he is just predisposed to be a big boy-that's alright he can protect me :) I WILL have a house FULL of protectors ( a policeman for a husband, a black belt son, and a son as big as a refrigerator :)
3)We had our first ER trip for Trey. There will be MANY more to come, I am sure, but this was his first due to hydrocephalus. Trey had woken up from a nap, and I went to go make a bottle. Ryne always goes in there to talk to him and keep him from crying (Ryne HATES it when Trey cries ;) but as Ryne was reaching in to turn on the mobile, he fell in right on Trey's head. I walk in to a very ODD scream/cry from Trey and I look at Ryne (who had already quickly scrambled out of the crib) and he burst into tears also. I was so confused. Ryne immediately fessed up and the large red welt right next to Trey's shunt tube popped up immediately. I calmed them both down and "thought" everyone was okay. Later on the day Trey was so unbelievably fussy-nothing would make him feel better, so I took him to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta and was taken into a room and seen by a doctor within 8 minutes of arrival ( I LOVE that ER-and they LOVED i had nothing to do with respiratory problems. There were like 30 kids in the ER with masks on and Swine flu symptoms) But Trey was fine-just had a headache-YAY!! (we almost had to take him again on Saturday-Someone accidentally dropped him on hard red clay ground, but after some mommy love and Tylenol, he was all good :)
4)Trey started physical therapy and occupational therapy. He ACTS like he was a breech baby with club feet-his hips and ankles are very weak. This means he can't crawl and can't pick up his legs to walk. I asked his therapist if it is due to his size and she told me no, he is very strong-if he were limp then yes he wouldn't be able to support his weight. His joints are just weak. He is already learning and will be moving along in no time :) When he is older he will also need to go through speech therapy, he does not babble at all-the only noise that comes out of him is "ugh" So essentially I have a 10 month old who is the size of a 2 year old, but doesn't run away or yell/talk-Is this really that bad :)
5) Trey is not responding to his HEAVY dose of reflux meds, so we have a Gastroenterologist appt. on Nov. 5th-I will update later. Depending on what the GI doctor say we may have to see an ENT also-Trey is a heavy mouth breather and stops breathing at times, his pediatrician has always attributed it to his reflux and says he will grow out of it-But we are going on 10 months and it seems to be getting worse. So we'll see.
6)Trey is one of the HAPPIEST babies EVER!!!! He loves to play and laugh, and just be with all of his family-He is so loving it is amazing! He is definitely a lot of work, but his smile and laugh make it so worth it ;)
7) The boy's birthdays are coming up!!!!!! Ryne's is November 18th and Trey's is December 16th. They are both BIG birthdays this year so we are going all out! For Ryne we are going to Orlando to the Nick Hotel and having a Spongebob themed birthday. We are going to SeaWorld and Disney, and he is just SO EXCITED!!
For Trey's first birthday we are having a cupcake themed birthday :) YAY Cupcakes!!! It is a lot of work and custom ordering because MOST of the cupcake themes are for girls-but I will make it work and pictures are to follow. Oh I have designed and made some absolutely ADORABLE stuff!! I am so excited I LOVE planning their birthdays and seeing the happy looks on their faces make everything worth it!
Actually I guess a lot has been going on b/c this isn't even all of it, oh well I'm tired and you're probably sick of reading about my boys. But I think they are amazing and everything they do is newsworthy :)