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Saturday, October 24, 2009

Ouch!!

My head hurts. Really BAD!! I feel like crawling into bed, but I can't. Why is it again Stephan works nights? So he can be out when all the bad guys are-He loves his job so much-It's kinda cute. BUT I don't love being miserable!! And that is pretty much how I feel.

When I have a headache all can think about is more poor baby Trey. According to older people with Hydrocephalus, headaches are VERY common. I feel bad for Trey-he could have a headache every day and I wouldn't know it.

On the other hand Fall is here!! I am so glad for this weather and amazing cool temps.!!! My doors have been open and I baked cinnamon chocolate chip cookies-so my house feels and smells Yummy!! (Stephan's police department will be benefiting from this tomorrow ;)

I need some alone time with my husband-but I am too afraid to leave Trey with a babysitter. I will admit it, it has taken me 10 months of being with Trey 24/7 to understand what his cries mean and what he wants. Sometimes Stephan still doesn't know, he still chokes and stops breathing QUITE frequently and I am truly afraid something will happen. With Ryne it was I didn't think anyone can do as good a job as I did (and if they did Ryne wouldn't love me anymore) but with Trey it is a true fear something BAD will happen to him. I have to get over this!! I am so disconnected from my husband I am starting to prefer it when he is not home-AND THAT'S BAD!!!! I am really hoping Trey's appointment with his gastroenterologist will bring some answers as to why he stops breathing. I NEED answers. I NEED time without my kids. I NEED my husband.

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